


Under Those I Break

by phunWorks



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Child Abuse, Developing Relationship, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-05-19 04:50:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19349833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phunWorks/pseuds/phunWorks
Summary: It developed over time since childhood. It was something authentic, something real. The world was tough but couldn't take that away from them.





	Under Those I Break

**Author's Note:**

> Trying to update today since it's been a while. That or I'm just finally out of my writer's block.

(13/8th grade)

Tyler could breathe, no one's saying he couldn't, but he really wished it wasn't necessary to survival. If only not breathing would make it better instead of worse. If only.... He'd been on the asphalt, laying curled into himself, for a while. He knew that because he'd been dragged here at the beginning of lunch but he just heard the bell for the next class to end. This parking lot didn't get a lot of traffic, in any sense of the word, because the truth is that there's always a kid out here like Tyler. Always. One of those kids being Joshua Dun, who was walking toward the other boy now. Without a word, Josh dropped to his and put his side hand on Tyler's chest. It was soft and light pressure, something about it helped Tyler's breathing become less erratic and somehow comforted him in a way nothing else had thus far. The pain in his upper back was still ever present along with the painful weakness in his right hip and leg. With the help of Josh, Tyler managed to sit up but with every inch up he became dizzy and mildly disoriented. "I-I think I gotta take you to the nurse this time. I'll get you there, but you don't look so good." 

"What can I say," Tyler said, causing a pulsing pain to take hold of his skull. "Eighth grade's a mother-"

"Please, Ty," Josh whispered. That's all he had to do. It's all he ever had to do and Tyler would do whatever he had to in order for Josh to smile, again. Tyler nodded and then allowed Josh to help him up. Josh put the other's arm around his shoulders due to Tyler's legs shaking and him being so unbalanced. Tyler felt himself get nauseous with every step. "Almost there," he heard Josh encourage. When Tyler looked up they were inside passing by the main office. He didn't even remember getting to the doors of the main building. He knew his head must've taken a hit because he was seeing in a blurry double sort of vision. The florescent lights above him were like daggers into the front of his brain, he fought to keep his head low which only increased the nausea. 

FUCK! More dagger pain, his eyelids were being forced open and light was being forced into them. When they were gone, he couldn't see in front of him. "Tyler, can you understand me?" The nurse was speaking to him, he felt like he was laying down, after turning his head and seeing the pillow he confirmed it. Thank Christ. He was so fucking tired. "Stay awake, Tyler. I'm calling an ambulance." 

"No," Tyler said quickly, causing him to feel even dizzier. "Plllease," he slurred. The nurse shushed him, he heard commotion around him but didn't pay much attention since it all sounded like voices from under water. Looking around was nearly pointless, everything was so blurry shapes had melted into each other. Soon, the only thing he felt and knew of, was Josh's hand in his. Comforting him until everything went black. 

 

(16/10th grade)

Tyler's eyes shot open to take in a low lit bedroom with dark walls and posters. The cracked walls had gotten a bit more severe over the years. New holes had been covered by new band posters and old cracks had been left to get worse. Tyler didn't care, as soon as he could he'd be gone. He fucking hated this place. "Tyler," his mom screamed from the living room, as if on cue. "Get your ass in here!" Tyler stood slowly, the act of sitting first causing his aching ribs to flare up in pain. When he stood, the pain was relieved a little, but he knew he still had to get his shirt on since he'd fallen asleep in just his gym shorts. Once his shirt was on, he opened the door to the hallway and turned the corner to the living room. It was dark, with only the television illuminating the small messy space. There were blankets and pillow sort of everywhere, along with a few empty wrappers. "Why is this fucking place a wreck?" His mom stood behind the rocking chair with trash in one hand and the remote in the other. "I just worked a double fucking shift and you can't even keep the goddamn house I pay for, and allow you to live in, clean? Are you that fucking useless and lazy? How the hell do you think you'll ever make it in the work force if you can't even keep up with chores?"

"I'm sorry, mom," he said, keeping his eyes low. "I'll clean it right now." 

"Hold on," she warned as he stepped toward a blanket, intending to fold it. "What the fuck is that?" Tyler stepped back as she walked up to him, but ceased moving when her hand grabbed his bicep. She grabbed his head roughly, inspecting what he knew was a superficial cut above his left eye and a bruise to compliment it. The blackness reached the corner of his eye and back toward his temple. His mom let go of his arm and face and Tyler almost took a breath. Almost. The quick force of her hand forced his head to the side and left a hot sting on his cheek. A ringing went through his head and his vision blurred. He didn't display any of this to his mom, he wasn't that stupid. "How are you such a pussy? Get the fuck out of my house, I don't wanna see you the rest of the night." 

It was 4am, but he wasn't going to protest getting the hell out of this place with permission, he grabbed his hoodie from the chair and stormed out of the front door, careful not to slam the door behind him fearing it'd encourage the woman to continue. Tyler was getting off easy tonight, which he knew meant that his mom had scored some painkillers, again. She'd be in a stupor for the next few days and he would get a break, finally. Tyler reached an old familiar building blocks away from his house and across the street from the neighborhood park. Across the street there was a group of guys laughing around a black Corolla, speaking loudly and each had a can of something in their hand. Tyler turned his attention back to the old broke down home before him. This had been Josh's house. Tyler kept walking along the sidewalk until his reached Mr. Clark's house, well, it was Josh's current residence. After his parents left, they left him with their neighbor and "friend". What's worse, they even signed over guardianship. Josh had been officially adopted a year ago. Tyler hated it.

 

(14/8th grade)

The woman across from him had that signature blue lanyard and ID on her neck. Tyler had missed three more days of school and returned with a limp and healing lip. He wasn't sure if the make-up covering his eye was passing at all right now. It didn't seem to matter, he was sure the woman had already made up her mind on whether or not to investigate. The school had been watching him closely since last fall when Josh found him in the parkinglot. When they'd found his backpack it had been full of cafeteria food, make-up, razorblades and a first aid kit. After his return to school they asked him to see the counselor, he foolishly complied, and soon enough this woman entered his life two weeks ago. She showed up at his house before he'd gotten home from Josh's place, his mother and the social worker had been sitting in the living room discussing whatever it was about him. Now he was in a private meeting with her and the school nurse and principle. There was a cop in the back corner, making him that much more nervous, he needed Josh. He needed comfort. "Do you want to tell me why you're limping around today?" 

"Fell on my skate-board at the park," Tyler said with a small shrug. His voice was low and reserved. 

"Have you seen a doctor," she asked. Great, now inquiring neglect. 

Tyler leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. His grey hoodie was a little big but gave his a slightly bigger demeanor. He knew he wasn't intimidating, but he also wanted to show them he wasn't going to budge. To be honest, he wasn't lying to these people and hiding these secrets for anyone other than Josh. He couldn't leave Josh and therefore couldn't let them take him away. Who else would be there to walk Josh home passed Mr. Clark's house? Who would bring an extra hoodie when Josh showed up to school missing his, or when he couldn't stand the hardness of the school chairs? As much as Tyler hated the entire situation, he didn't know what to do, Josh always said he wanted it and there was no reason to call any cops. Tyler really couldn't understand that, but he did understand it when Josh said he was too ashamed. Maybe that's what Tyler was now. Too ashamed to get the help he knew him and his brother desperately needed. This help was too unpredictable, though, outside of most-likely being transferred to a different school and uprooting his current life. He didn't have much of one right now, but he had Josh, and that was enough to keep it all. "Haven't had the chance, it happened last night and my mom had the morning shift. I'll see him after school, most-likely."

They all looked at each other and turned back to him, this time the nurse spoke. "Tyler, I've seen you in my office a few times-"

"For assholes outside of school and home. Wanna do something about that or pretend it's not happening still?" Tyler felt his cheeks get hot. 

"You know we're trying to help you, right," the principle asked. 

Tyler scoffed. "Fuck you, ass-wipe."  

"Fine, we'll ask you outright and take your word for it," the social worker gave in. "Is your mother abusive or neglectful?" 

 _Both, obviously_. "Nope," Tyler said with a shrug and crossed arms. After looking her in the eye and seeing the disappointment, he looked down into his lap.

 

(16/10th grade)

Tyler was in the tree branch at Josh's second floor window. Steadily and lightly, he began drumming Josh's favorite song with his free hand. Josh had always been a light sleeper, so he stirred almost immediately and by the end of the song, he was awake and answering his window for Tyler. Once he was inside, Josh stood and took him in. Both of their eyes fell on Tyler's blackened socks. "Not even shoes this time?"

"I had to get the fuck outta there, man," he explained. 

Josh nodded. He understood since this wasn't even close to the first time Tyler had showed up like this. It always wasn't like Josh didn't do the same when things got bad for him. Tyler secretly wished they could just escape and run off together somewhere, but that was a pipe dream, Tyler knew he'd never make It out there alone. His mom was right about that one, he was clueless and pathetic, the world was going to eat him alive. Josh, he could make it, but he wasn't going to leave Tyler behind like that. That was another thing he hated. He held everyone back. "Alright, well it's late - early enough we can just head to the diner for a bit until school. Or have you even slept?" 

Tyler shrugged. "A couple hours," he lied. It'd really only been one hour, really, and entirely filled with nightmares. Josh knew that without Tyler saying anything and he moved Tyler over to the bed and held him. Josh's arms were safely around Tyler until the younger boy drifted away.

 

(17/12th grade)

Tyler felt so content with Josh laying between his legs, head resting against Tyler's chest, and sharing a bag of Cheetos while watching an episode of Breaking Bad. Tyler's mom was gone right now and so was his brother. His mom at work, his brother off living with their aunt in Maine. Tyler would've been given the same offer, had his mother not told her sister about Tyler being gay. In his mom's words over the phone call Tyler had heard, " _If you want to take in a faggot and hope your church accepts you then you're in even more denial than I thought. I'm trying to fix him. And you're right, it's not Zach's fault and shouldn't suffer for his brother's sins._ " Sure enough, his aunt's religion got in the way of Tyler's ticket out of his mother's reign. Then again, he probably wouldn't have allowed it anyway. He couldn't leave Josh. Tyler heard the front door slam shut and he paused the dvd in his PS3. Josh immediately had gotten off of Tyler and onto the floor. His mom knew they were together, but she was quick to get after Tyler if she "ever saw it under her roof".  Tyler couldn't help but call her a fucking bitch in his head. 

She showed up at Tyler's doorway with her hand on her hip. "Where's my fucking rent money," she asked Tyler. 

"I don't get paid until tomorrow and rent's not due for almost a week, chill out," Tyler said. His mom's face grew red, he knew it would piss her off when he said it, but he was done with her shit. He couldn't handle it anymore. 

"I said I need the fucking money now, so I can pay for the car that takes me to the job, that pays for your  _fucking_ food," she spat back. 

Tyler sat at the edge of his bed. His face was up to his mother's shoulders, if he'd been standing he'd be a head taller. "Then use the money from your own fucking paycheck from yesterday," he said back. She walked over, hand up and moving down towards his cheek. He caught her wrist in the air and pushed her body backwards as he stood. "Enough," he shouted and let go of her. Josh stood next behind him, unsure of what to do because Tyler had never fought back like this before. 

"You're a piece of shit to put your hands on your own mother, Tyler Robert-"

"And you're a piece of shit for putting hands on your sons like you do," Tyler shouted. "I'm fucking done! Don't put your hands on me again!"

She stormed out of the room and into her bedroom. She slammed the door behind her and Josh felt the courage to speak again. "Maybe we should go."

"Fuck her," Tyler said back. "I pay to live here, this is just as much my place until I choose to leave." 

 

(18/Post-graduation)

Josh and Tyler got an apartment outside of town a month after graduation. Mr. Clark's Sudan would be parked outside at odd hours of the night. A letter in the mailbox from Tyler's mom stated that she disowned him and prayed for his death. They didn't care, they were with each other and would stay that way. Whatever that meant, this was them. Despite that, Josh still screamed himself awake at night and cried in the shower every morning. Tyler still jumped at the slightest motion of Josh's hand and still screamed into a pillow with so much rage he could barely handle it. Soon, they both checked into therapy and eventually Mr. Clark's Sudan stopped showing up. Josh had fewer nightmares and Tyler had fewer fits of rage. They still loved each other the same. Even when Josh was convinced he was broken, Tyler assured him that Josh was mending himself back together. And when Tyler would repeat to himself how he was "a useless fuck up", Josh would hold him and assure him of the opposite. They got a dog they named Gizmo and a cat named Linus. They finally had their family.

 

(32)

Tyler held Josh's hand as he took his last labored breath. It did it. The lung cancer finally got him. Josh was gone. Tyler felt life leave the other's body and felt himself lose  _almost_ everything. "Dad," his daughter cried from the other side of the hospital bed. Tyler reached over and grabbed her hand that intertwined and rested on Josh's thigh. "I can't do this," she cried.

Tyler squeezed her hand. "We'll get through this, Ruby. I promise." And they would get through it, because Josh would've expected it. Because Josh was still comforting Tyler every time Ruby practiced on her dad's drums. He was there, always. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Cheesy ending, I know, but I'm trying this new thing called "happy endings".


End file.
